A Story of Two Cancer Warning Dreams

Remember to have fun, even when life is challenging!

Here’s a story of a couple of health warning dreams that came true in my life. They’re a reminder of the value of catching your dreams, logging them, and of reviewing your dream journal for good advice from your quite magical dreaming self.

November 1st was my six month anniversary of successful surgery for thyroid cancer. I was diagnosed in March, and I discovered a dream of my surgeon warning me about cancer 3 1/2 years before my surgery, and a dream voice two years later that calmly said “You have cancer”.

In April I gave a talk on Inner Voice Experiences at an International Association for the Study of Dreams regional conference in Santa Cruz. I agreed to give my presentation before I had my diagnosis and already had some great stories to tell, but I felt there was another story waiting to be found in my journals. So I reviewed several journals and found a doozy. I’ve counted at least ten things in this dream that came true years later.

In my dream I’m facilitating a Robert Moss workshop, and I have to leave with a friend from Seattle for a doctor’s appointment before it is finished. After an examination with the doctor I’m in a second doctor’s office with a woman medical clinician wearing a white coat. She is petite, with short brown hair and a very strong and direct personality, very confident and highly capable. She tells me, “If you don’t find a way to reduce your stress, get more rest, and find more balance in your life you’re at risk for developing cancer. It’s not there now, but cancer cells like nooks and crannies and folds in the body and the way you’re living is a formula for developing cancer.”

I tell her she is a great teacher, and has she ever thought of teaching about health? She ignores this, and looks at me closely and says. “You need to take me seriously. Reduce your stress, get more rest, and have more fun!”

My friend and I leave the clinic and now I’m alone in a little motorized tricycle trying to get back to the workshop by driving over a bridge across the Bay. I try to cross the bridge alone in the tricycle, and I’m buffeted about by heavy winds blowing me across lanes. There is no way I can cross this bridge in high winds in this little bike.

Now I’m with my friend again in a little electronic car, very low to the ground, crossing the bridge. It’s very difficult and I feel angry and frustrated, and in a fit of road rage I ram into a big car driven by a rude man who has cut me off. It’s all just so difficult! Finally we get back to the workshop and a woman I know whom I’ve never dreamt about before or since wants to talk to me. Oddly, she has a sunburn and I don’t really want to talk to her. I wake feeling very uncomfortable.

So what came true in the dream?

Yippee for friends in times of need!

I attended a Robert Moss workshop in Seattle late last year and had a reunion with my close friend, a physician. She noticed a lump on my neck and told me to have it looked at. I probably would not have noticed it for a very long time. We had a sense at the time there was a reason we were supposed to meet in Seattle, but didn’t know why. Now we do. Thank you, Veronique!

The medical warning came true. After meeting with my primary care physician and being diagnosed with thyroid cancer I scheduled my appointment with a surgeon. When she walked into the room wearing her white coat I recognized her from the dream. She was strong, direct, petite with short brown hair just as I had dreamed, a top surgeon and professor at UCSF medical center. I was thrilled to learn later the crew talked about dreams during my surgery because I had shared my dream with them.

I had the dream when I was in the process of starting a new business and was also teaching a graduate course on dreaming. I worked long days and nights, living out of balance. The dream advice was good but I didn't heed it, nor did I remember the dream.

Two days after my surgery I unexpectedly had to ask a friend to drive me to the clinic across the Bay Bridge, in her old car that sits very low to the ground, similar in feeling to the vehicle in my dream. We were buffeted about by the stress of driving to and from San Francisco in heavy Friday traffic, with unavoidable jerky movements from driving a manual transmission. I'm embarrassed to say I had a moment of road rage when a rude man swerved around us, honking.

The presence of thyroid problems is present in the dream by the friend with the sunburn. This friend has had very challenging problems with her thyroid, and with getting her thyroid medication properly balanced. In waking life I was reluctant to talk with her after my diagnosis because I didn't want to think about the challenges of losing my thyroid and of balancing my hormones afterwards. I've chosen to decline the radioactive iodine treatment recommended by my doctor. Radiation burns cells and the sunburn seems to reflect this, too.

Finally, this was a long dream where much of my time was spent trying to get back to the magic of the workshop, and in the dream I was afraid of letting Robert down, similar to how I have felt about not being able to be as fully present with my writing, and my dreamwork, as I wish to be. The dream reflects how illness has interrupted the dreamy life I love.

I'm happy to say I'm well on my way to vibrant good health again, and it's very likely the surgery removed all of the cancer. 

It’s fascinating to see how many elements in one dream may be predictive in both literal and symbolic ways. The challenge is to remember to review your dreams and to pay attention to good advice when you find it. I use this dream now as a tangible reminder to take better care of myself.

All better now! Photo from the movie ”The Girl in White”, 1952